sucks to be gay, in this country at least

Blast from the past...I got an email today from a high school friend; apparently one of our classmates married his boyfriend last week at San Francisco City Hall.

I've always been in favor of gay marriage, in the abstract, but it feels really different when it involves someone you know (knew?) and you see his picture in the newspaper. Now I feel guilty, like I've been remiss, not being more vocal with my support. In the end, it really comes down to a civil rights issue, doesn't it?

Since I grew up in and around San Francisco, you'd think I wouldn't have seen many examples of injustices towards gay people. Unfortunately, even out here, we're still subject to whatever laws they decide to pass in DC.

From an outsider's perspective, things that suck for gay people, in this country:

- You can't donate blood, if you admit to being a gay man. I just don't get this one. Should the Red Cross also reject blood donations from people with multiple sex partners? If all the blood is tested anyway, it doesn't matter who's done what, right? Do we really have such wretched blood screening processes that we can't detect STDs? Doesn't that make people think twice about getting blood transfusions?

- You can't be gay and serve in the military, unless you're willing to hide your identity, and refrain from "participating in gay sexual activities." I can just imagine the government telling straight people to abstain from sexual activity while in the military. There is a reason foreign brothels staff up before US aircraft carriers dock. That aside, I understand that there homophobic people in the military, who don't want to serve with gay people. There are also racist and sexist people in this country. Are they allowed to refuse to serve with people of other races? Are they allowed to refuse to serve with members of the opposite sex? No, because we don't condone discrimination based on race or gender. Hmm...

- If you're gay and you form a "civil union" with your partner, you still can't sponsor him/her as a spouse for immigration purposes. In a country full of immigrants, this is a pretty big deal.

- If you're gay and you're dying, your partner does not have the legal right to say whether or not "heroic measures" should be taken to keep you alive as long as possible. What often happens is that a gay person's family ends up fighting with his/her life partner. Great situation for someone who's dying of a terminal illness, isn't it?

- If you're gay and you write a will that says you leave your money to your partner, you're not home free. Some states have forms that have to be filed to revoke the claims of the next-of-kin. Plus, it's always possible for your family to file a lawsuit to take your money away from your grieving partner.

I'm sure there are lots of other problems, but I can't list them off the top of my head. I'm beginning to wonder if this is why another one of my high school friends has been living in Europe for the past few years. Well, that and the hot Irish guys, of course.